Thursday, June 15, 2006
In Which I Dominate
Earned the green belt yesterday. Am very satisfied, naturally, but not nearly so much so as I was Saturday. That was the day I was originally supposed to test, but the evening before, Ms. Elysha (my age, favored teacher, runs the competition team) said she wanted me to come compete in the State Champeenships. I'd been looking forward to competition for months, so I jumped at the chance. We decided I would compete as a green belt because a) there would be more of them there and b) it just wouldn't have been a fair fight otherwise. As it turned out, it wasn't a fair fight anyhow.
The short story is, double gold in forms and sparring. In other words total domination of my division. The form I didn't have much competition, but the fight I am especially proud of (one rarely has to fight more than once). I hadn't been to tournament training in a long time (like ten days) because my intestines had been (and are still) in full retreat. My cardio was shot. In sparring, you can suck fairly hard, and still win if you can outlast your opponent. And to be honest, no amount of training can really prepare you for your first competition fight. The adrenaline roars through you, and then all of a sudden, you're spent. Fortunately, it seemed the other guy, despite being considerably larger, wasn't prepared. Slow, too. Saw his kicks coming miles away. It helped, too, that after one or two quick shots, we think he simply got scared. Every time I came at him (far too much jumping from me--it was because the night before, I had beaten a black belt by throwing one jumping round kick after another, and figured it would work against a lesser opponent), he'd turn his back and hide like a turtle. Pansyass. I had to swat him in the back a few times to make him open up. There were two crowning moments. One was the flying tornado roundhouse (eat me, Chuck Norris) that sent him scurrying into the corner. I didn't get the head shot because he turtled again, but my little teammate Max got an excellent picture of me in flight. The other was when I finally did tag him in the head (two points). Crescent kick, spanked right up in the temple. It's the first time my habit of kicking people in the head has actually paid off. It was a very controlled kick, too. I didn't want to hurt him too badly, so I made sure it was fast enough, but not so hard I'd coldcock him. I wanted to play with him some more. Très cat and mouse.
Final score was 5-1 (I have no idea when he hit me). To score you have to hit the person hard enough to produce a loud smack from the pad, so five points is an average score. I thought I was going to pass out afterwards, though. Woof. Most exhausting experience of my life. But exhilarating. I'm going to be doing more of that next year. A lot more.
I should explain that I can see myself teaching this stuff three, four years from now.
<<>><<>><<>><<>>
So enough kvelling. Yesterday I spent six and a half hours in the New York Passport Office. It wasn't fun. Not one little bit.
Yes, there is a party here. Saturday night. 8:30. Someone bring mint mentos and Diet Coke. Trust me on this. You'll see.
The short story is, double gold in forms and sparring. In other words total domination of my division. The form I didn't have much competition, but the fight I am especially proud of (one rarely has to fight more than once). I hadn't been to tournament training in a long time (like ten days) because my intestines had been (and are still) in full retreat. My cardio was shot. In sparring, you can suck fairly hard, and still win if you can outlast your opponent. And to be honest, no amount of training can really prepare you for your first competition fight. The adrenaline roars through you, and then all of a sudden, you're spent. Fortunately, it seemed the other guy, despite being considerably larger, wasn't prepared. Slow, too. Saw his kicks coming miles away. It helped, too, that after one or two quick shots, we think he simply got scared. Every time I came at him (far too much jumping from me--it was because the night before, I had beaten a black belt by throwing one jumping round kick after another, and figured it would work against a lesser opponent), he'd turn his back and hide like a turtle. Pansyass. I had to swat him in the back a few times to make him open up. There were two crowning moments. One was the flying tornado roundhouse (eat me, Chuck Norris) that sent him scurrying into the corner. I didn't get the head shot because he turtled again, but my little teammate Max got an excellent picture of me in flight. The other was when I finally did tag him in the head (two points). Crescent kick, spanked right up in the temple. It's the first time my habit of kicking people in the head has actually paid off. It was a very controlled kick, too. I didn't want to hurt him too badly, so I made sure it was fast enough, but not so hard I'd coldcock him. I wanted to play with him some more. Très cat and mouse.
Final score was 5-1 (I have no idea when he hit me). To score you have to hit the person hard enough to produce a loud smack from the pad, so five points is an average score. I thought I was going to pass out afterwards, though. Woof. Most exhausting experience of my life. But exhilarating. I'm going to be doing more of that next year. A lot more.
I should explain that I can see myself teaching this stuff three, four years from now.
<<>><<>><<>><<>>
So enough kvelling. Yesterday I spent six and a half hours in the New York Passport Office. It wasn't fun. Not one little bit.
Yes, there is a party here. Saturday night. 8:30. Someone bring mint mentos and Diet Coke. Trust me on this. You'll see.
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