Loose Cans

The nonchalance doesn't do it justice, of course. Six months is a long time, made longer by its being fucking interminable. In fact, the only part of the last six months that went too fast was the morning I left, when I had about six hours to pack, clean the house till the walls gleamed and finally, empty the entire place of the detritus of a year. This would not have happened without first Caitriona's help, then Qiang and Jun's. Without them, I do not get on the plane. The house is not even remotely cleaned. I lose €1100 instead of the €150 my gonff wee-bitch realtor will be taking for three minutes' cleanup after I left. That putzface hasn't emailed me yet or anything. Quel douchebag.

Honestly, I would sooner leave the mania, the hysteria and panic of that day to the imagination, than to have to revisit it in detail. It sucked. It was, in effect, Ireland delivering one final swift kick in the balls. Then stealing my wallet when I was down: I spent €254 that day. €25 on a taxi, €60 for the excess bag (because they have an absurd two-bag, 32kg-each limit) and €169 to ship three boxes of books. I requested the slowest boat they have; I suspect that boat to be an airplane. €170. Jesus fuck. I am never moving like that again.

But I'm home now. We're through with Dublin for a while. All it is right now is a subject I tire of discussing. I think I may start lying: "where I've been? Oh, you know, here, there, a little travel, a little prison..."

I'm looking for a job, but mostly what I'm up to is planning this, um, totally epic trip. Right now it looks like this: August 14th, fly to Shanghai. Bang around, then a pimp-ass overnight train to Beijing (hello, Nicky-poo). This is with Mike. Then to Yunnan. Then Mike goes off to Taipei, and I am left to my devices in Chengdu. Because the next big thing is Tibet, which you have to get to from Chengdu. Then from Tibet get in a 4WD and drive, with a few others (travel agencies set it up) THROUGH THE FUCKING HIMALAYAS. This takes a few days, and you see everything, including Everest base camp. You end up in Kathmandu. From there, I'm flying to Dubai, I think (but only if my buddy Reem will be in town). I want to see the Burj el-Arab, the most awesome hotel in the world (one of two seven-star hotels; the other is in Abu Dhabi, also in the U.A.E.). From Dubai, in any case, it's up to Cairo, where Ben will be. Will spend some good time there, possibly Ben and I will make a little hajj to de holy land, but there is no way on God's green Earth I am going anywhere near a kibbutz. And if I hear one word about Portnoy...

Cairo then leads to Alexandria. Awesome slash duh. Maybe boat, maybe fly (probably fly) to Rome. In Rome, buy a flexipass: 10 days of travel within Italy, Spain and France over two months, $352 (says the Rough Guide). Then to Bologna (hi, Roz!), then Madrid (hi, Gunning family!), then Salamanca (hi, Natty!), then to Nice (hi, Wendy!), then stop for a bit in Provence, la vallée d'Apt (coucou, familles Danneyrolles et Poirson!). Then, finally, on to Paris (hi, Claude, Rebecca, Kay, Stephen, Jessie, Josh, etc!) for a last hurrah. Then home. I'll have circumnavigated the world against its own rotation. Cool.